From The View Of The Onlooker- Ed Edd N' Eddy

HELLOOO!!!!!!

My computer obsessed, patriotic fans, here is the Eighteenth entry. But firstly, let me go over the comments and see the delightfully brisk comments you have left

JackoDarth- Lol… I knew you’d agree with me. Even though I use it, it doesn’t prevent me becoming a hypocrite… as much as I hate that

Abby Lever- Sure facebook is addictive… but I’ve learned that compared to other addictive things (not drugs, people… Im being a rightful Samaritan, in that I distrust drugs, but support copyright infringement… :D…except my own…you filthy b**terds), it actually becomes pretty minor… so it can be controlled to an extent

Oliver Smith- Hmm… exactly what doesn’t make sense? I went to London, took some pictures, and wrote an entry about it. What in that is confusing…

Sure, when I look over it, I did make some mistakes, but bearing in mind, I only worked on it on the evening I got back, AND the day I released it, so there’s bound to be of couple mistakes that I overlook.

But still… I feel that what you’ve said is a little… strong. It wasn’t that bad

Oh, and BTW… I have played God Of War (every game in the series except GOF 3 and some mobile game)

Louisah Hillman- Its fair to agree, but… I actually took pictures just because I thought you’d like em’

Granted, it is true that many people do like Starbucks, and that all this attention has obviously ruined it, but… seriously, don’t I get a smile… or a laugh. That would have been much appreciated

Anywaaaay… now to the entry, and introducing yet another new theme to my show (okay… it’s a blog… I just like calling it a show, though), appropriately called ‘Shows From Our Childhoods’



This is where I review a show that generally most people my aged watched until, say, 10 years old. Yep… those good ol’ shows, and what better way to start than by reviewing virtually the first show I ever watched, Ed Edd n’ Eddy



This show… kicks your a** till’ you develop a** cancer. Honestly, this was the first real show that I remember liking (sorry, but a show with trains with faces that don’t eat people… I ain’t buying the DVD), and for good reason, as you’ll see in a minute. But first, a little backstory

Ed Edd n’ Eddy was created around in 1999, back when an overhaul in animation was taking place. Shows like Animaniacs, Batman the animated series and a whole bunch of 80’s shows (not like the actual show which I will probably never watch) were being seen as too stereotypically ‘old’, and new animation genius’s needed to be brought in to connect with a new era of audiences… if only they knew they’d turn out chavs… hmm, I need a terminator.

But anyway, Ed Edd n’ Eddy were a result of this revamp in childrens shows, and it seems to me that they all appealed to different audiences. Think-

Powerpuff girls for girls

Dexters Laboratory for unpopular, nerdy kids

And Iam Weasel for the mentally unstable kids… didn’t stop me watching it :D

And as you can imagine, Ed Edd n’ Eddy was meant to appeal to boys, and it did a great job in the fact of how imaginatively insane it could get. Comparably, it was like shows like Ren and Stimpy… but less gross and more directional. Now lets take a look at the show itself

The shows takes place in an neighbourhood ‘cul-de-sac’ with a bunch of kids that are eternally on Summer vacation with no appearances from parents… for up to four seasons, in fact. In this group, there are our 3 main characters, the Ed’s…



…Who are all named for some variation of the name, but seem to manage anyway. Firstly, is just Ed


(Don't Worry... Ed isn't a Nazi... Nazis FTL)

This is the guy who never bathes nor does he possess any visible intelligence… though he does have so much strength that it would probably put the hulk to shame…so as you can imagine, he can sometimes be taken advantage of. You’d think this make him a somewhat stereotypical dumb*** who’s coincidently also strong… but throw in an obsession with buttered toast, gravy and aliens, and you have yourself a likeable character. Next, is Edd… yet everyone calls him double d… yet pronounce it as debble d… they’ve been off school long enough



This guy is the exact opposite of Ed, being a neat freak who possess an annoying amount of intelligence who just likes things perfect...oh, and his parents communicate to him from yellow sticky notes only…maybe his parents are computers hooked up to other machines, but its never explained. He too is also sometimes taken advantage of, but you’ll see how in a minute. He counters of Ed perfectly, and boosting that, they’re really good friends. Oh…but one thing I wanna mention… why does he wear a black sock on his head. In the show, people say its from a dodgeball incident, and most fans think he’s just bald, but… how does a dodgeball mean baldness?

Obviously, he must have been playing dodgeball, but then, someone throws one, and it collides with all sorts till it hits a… plane (it got out through the window), which then crashes because planes are vulnerable to balls (lol), and falls on the area he was playing on. He ends up in hospital, with some manageable injuries, and after 3 weeks, he gets out… still with hair…only to go to the barber the next day, WHO coincidently is just a pair of scissors, and ends up cutting off a portion of his scalp, yet just enough to survive, yet never grow hair again

Um…hmm… no, that’s stupid…

Anyway, finally is the dwarf of the group, Eddy



This is the guy who controls both of his friends for scams, so they can get money out of the other kids to buy Jawbreakers, which just about everybody in the show like, and are about the size of Jonathon Ross’s head in a couple of years of being as big-headed as he is now.

Eddy is a schemer who is half behind most of the insanity that stems from this show, and while he can get easily angry and annoying, he is still quite likeable, and though he treats his friends with little respect, he still does like them, so the show can still have its ‘together’ moments… as subtle as they are :)

There are also other kids in this show, as you can see below



But they’re not really a major focus within the show alone, and besides that, they represent the main stereotypes within… children, I suppose. Like-



Kevin being a ‘cool’ jock who easily hates the Ed’s... stupid douche



Nazz as the ‘girl next door’ (perhaps literally in this case) who people want to get with… and she will most likely turn into either a slut or a… actual intelligent person who is hot, but most likely doesn’t realize it



And Jimmy being the always 'likeable' camp and complete and total pussy wimp kid who I SWEAR is out to be hated. He’s just… irritating


But with characters, you always need a story, so as you can figure out, the general theme for episodes are usually scams that the Ed’s have made… only for it to fail EPICALLY. Which I forgot to mention… very rarely does a scam work in this show, and even if it does, the Ed’s usually lose the ‘cash’ made and somehow and end up getting beat up… which happens a s**t load of times

Good god’, these kids are showing the first signs of being terrorists… I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what they grow up into… except Nazz… sluts can’t be terrorists :/

Yet in near all these scam related episodes, there are some that to everyone shine out as they’re favourites… such as one of my favourites, a glass of warm ed (which I forgot to mention again, that all the episodes are titled after a life phrase, and then inserted with the word Ed… not bad, but not awesome, I think)

In it, The Ed’s discover that ‘regular Ed’ is not only a sleepwalker… but a

Sleep-brake into peoples houses and eat the food out of their refrigerator-er

That’s… awesome. If I had to sleepwalk, then I’d definitely also be a sleep- whatever. It’d be nice, to say the least

Anyway, Eddy and Edd discover this after Ed eats their food (and Edd’s cactus ‘Jim’… this guy needs a girlfriend), and decide to chase him down and stop him, yet at every turn, he manages to evade them. Eventually, they do catch him and wake him up, but decide to be on guard just in case he starts doing such awesome deeds again… which he does. Finally, Eddy and Edd decide to lure Ed away from his sleep- whatever-ing with the smell of his own shoe (…I don’t get it… at all, but who cares in all seriousness). They succeed in getting him to his home, and… well’ watch the ending for yourself. Its actually somewhat horrifyingly funny, and you should definitely watch it from the link below

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LnrVwt8vck

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC9icZU76y0

Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lEZP4RvYLo&NR=1

Ah, such good memories. And speaking about episodes, I gotta mention how…weird, the music is. Its just either completely sounds, whistling, or some… weird instrument that I have no idea what it is (It could be some type of sound effect, I haven’t had a clue for years). If you’ve just seen the episode just now, you’ll know what I mean, the music’s just unique… but I don’t think anybody knows what makes them. Maybe the writers made a deal with Satan… or the banker…I dunno, they’re both made out to be the same thing. Or maybe… they made a deal with business satan!



Only he would ship out sounds directly recorded from the second layer of Hades :)… it pays to be in the music industry

However, your probably thinking ‘who is the mad-man who came up with the idea for this crazy c**p’. Well, we owe all that to the great mad-man himself, Danny Antonucci



Seeing as this guy made Ed Edd N’ Eddy, he is automatically awesome

The guy came from Canada perhaps that inserts some of the Canadian jokes into the mix like-

‘Canadians are weird’
Ed
Know it all Ed
27/9/99

Oh, and a jokey slight distrust I have over Canadian people… this show caused it though >:3)

Anyway, the guy came from Canada, though he was descended from Italian parents, which he always claimed were an inspiration for his little group of self-made cartoons. Until Ed Edd N’ Eddy, he did work on shows like The Smurfs and Scooby Doo (I hate that show… I always have), and also had some involvement with MTV, however, he never exactly made a name for himself, and by the time he made Ed Edd N’ Eddy, he’d became determined to make a cartoon similar to something 1940’s-ish, and that he’d reportedly became frustrated and ‘edgy’ by his previous experiences. First pitching the idea to Nickelodeon (back when they were using an orange blob monster that was probably s**t out by the great mighty poo… groan), they liked it, however, they wanted full creative control, and seeing as Antonucci went through the experiences he did, he pulled out of the deal straight away (thank god too. If Nickelodeon had it, they’d probably make it about a homosexual sponge that lives in the sea with a bunch of other hideous monsters, and have every story seem like forgettable filler

Oh wait… they already did that ^^)

Anyway, after such an incident, Antonucci pitched his idea to the ‘then-new’ Cartoon Network, and seeing as they were just starting out… they said yes, and with that, we given over 5 seasons, 134 episodes and 10 years of dedicated episodes.

And if you’re thinking now, ‘how the hell is it popular’, then judge this for yourself… Ed Edd N’ Eddy is the longest running original CN series as of 2009, as all the other shows died out

Well… except Powerpuff Girls… that’s an manga now, I think

Either way, that must prove how great this show was, because if we didn’t like it, it would have ended before 50 episodes by now. No… it DOES prove it. If you don’t agree…

…Then you’re not human >:(

On the subject of its seasons, well… the first 4 seasons were basically set in the cul-de-sac on summer vacation. All the same, however, the final episode of s4 was kinda set to be the final one… as it deals with Eddy having an epiphany about his future…so yeah. We all thought it was going to be the final one, but no, we eventually got a new season after a long hiatus

This newest season finally moved to…well new seasons… as in like, the weather. Season 5 was set in autumn as the kids went back to school (finally…), and to be fair, it did inject some much needed refreshness into the show, and it made it slightly closer to when it was in its prime. The plots tended to include some more school related things, yet… we we’re still given the same characters, so…yeah, it’s hard to make it REALLY updated, in this sense.

Anyway, this season was made doubly long by the fact there was supposed to be a season 6, however, it was all bowled into one, where the ending of the season took place in winter.

You’d be thinking that the producers (and other… people) are basically giving us the long one… but it was worth it, sorta, as we were given a movie :D (But I’ll probably go over that as a review in the future)

And that basically wrapped up all those years of watching the Ed’s get into all sorts of shenanigans and eventually getting beat up… awesome :(

Looking back at this show and re-watching all these episodes… it’s an nice experience, and just to say it now… but I have a couple more SFOC planned for the VLOG I’m hoping to release in the future, including one in particular, that… well I’ll say it’ll be best if its out in July ;)

To wrap up this entry, I just wanna say that (even though I’ve already got across my message >.>) this show has had a part in making me who I’am, and that if you don’t like it… leave a comment or some criticism. Or… if all you’re going to do is send hate mail… then Business Satan who rape and eat you

He does it to hookers on Thursdays anyway ^^

The Onlooker's Antiquated, Yet Fantastical Journey To London

Hey everybody, its me again. However, this is one of those unofficial entries, so you can ki-

NO DON’T LEAVE

Its good…trust me…because as you can draw from the title, it’s a journey…to London…

HAZZAH FTW!

How about we get right to it…face it, you cant leave until you’ve seen all the pictures, or YOUR SOUL IS MINE >:(

However, I must apologize for the quality of some pictures. They were all taken with my Nintendo DSi, which, while making me look like an s**z in front of everyone, was also relatively safe to take around. Wish they were better, so my apologies again


It began at 7:20 pm on the 23rd March. I was going with a couple people from my School, and somewhat unfortunately, I was the first person there…or at least first student there…one of them was already there… fail

While waiting for everyone, I decided to take a picture of the front of the station I was at



Yeah, it was the Wigan North western… pretty c**p outside… but that’s just me

Eventually, most of us made it (minus 2 people who later went to Liverpool, but there you go), and with that, it was just the matter of getting on the train



…Too bad it wasn’t there. It was originally supposed to have arrived for 8:09 PM, but it only did arrive at 20 past instead. During that, I was listening to my Ipod while my friends messed around with a gun app of an Ipod touch, and all the time we were all enjoying the brisk coldness that accompanying mornings

Fun >.>

Here is the actual train (or at least the side of it)



And we finally set off for a 2 hour journey…on a train…which was as hectic as could be. For at least 20 minutes, most of us were stood up trying to look for seats, which honestly p**sed me off. However, I did eventually get to sit down, and as a plus, I did get some pictures of the train going




Moar speedyness...FTW



Nice…so, I finally made it to London for the first time. You should have been there… the polluted stench of London sure is a memorable smell… didn’t say it was good, though

After paying a toll and getting some tickets to use at those gate booths (I got stuck on one… oh joy), we made our way across to Trafalgar Square (I think…my memory compared to a goldfish’s… it’d make me look like a sin against nature). Nice place…pretty big, as you can see below









Our group decided to split off to go get something to eat, some people to McDonalds…and others to a Tesco Express. I went to the Tesco express, which personally I think is better in this case (more options  ), and bought some nice Jamaican beer (ginger beer, folks…I don’t drink… at least not yet ;) ) and split a giant bag of Doritos with a friend. But, as most people know, that’s not enough to satisfy me. No, there is only one place where Iam satisfied

SUBWAY!!!

Yeah, I went there and got a sub with two other friends. Twas nice, actually :)

Following on from such a venture, we were all rounded up and went to the

NATIONAL GALLERY!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to take pictures within the gallery (I don’t exactly understand that, but okay >.>) so I can’t exactly show the amazing scenes within the gallery. However, quite notably I did see the original version of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers, which I must say is much brighter in person.

After a long, yet good stroll through the gallery, we got out and headed for Covent gardens from the tube, which, when we got there… looked incredibly fancy… they’d easily make other buildings look like c**p piled on top of eachother. See-





But still, we did come here for a reason… to visit another gallery, and one that still didn’t allow pictures…woo

It was, as some of you can imagine, the Tate art Gallery. It wasn’t as good as the National Gallery in all honesty, but for what art it had, it was definitely worth a look. It also featured a café that… quite frankly was a stereotype of Londons expensive-ness (It cost about £2-£3 for a glass bottle of Pepsi… not that bad, but it could stand to be cheaper)

After such a venture, now was the time for shopping :D. Now, seeing as we had to stay as a group, we couldn’t exactly go to individual shops, however… I did manage to go into a couple of places


Starbucks FTW





And following from that, I also managed to sly away from the group and go into a HMV with a friend






God Of War 3 FTW… kick*** game trilogy, that’s certain



After such a long and tiring day, it was unfortunately decided that we should go back to the train station from whence we came, and return home… or at least it should have been, because the trains we’re delayed for at least an hour…all because of a strike or some power-cut

>.>… that’s bulls***




Heres a picture of the return journey… dark, ain’t it

And after a 2 hour journey home, plus an entire day of just walking through London… I got a cup of coffee, and started to write up this entry

And that wraps it up…just a quick mention though. The worst has happened… something I dreaded for a while now. (Breathes deeply)… I got Facebook. Turns out that, to me, a couple of weeks translates to a couple of days… me and my brilliant logic >.>

Anywaaaaay… while I wont be handing out my profile (Even though you can find it… again, my logic is f**ked up), I have created an Official Fan page, where you can basically discuss anything to do with my entries… or not, just as long as it doesn’t turn into some kind of flame war

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Official-From-The-View-Of-The-Onlooker-Fan-Page/104440739594430?ref=mf

Hope you use it the best you can, my devious little fan-minions (God’, you know what… an official FTVOTO fan is now called a Fan-Minion… kinda like Trekker or something equally nerdy)


And I know its off topic but, the 1st episode of Matt Smith’s series as the doctor is released today, and… IM EXCITED AS HELL :D. What about you?

From The View Of The Onlooker- Social Networking Sites

(Insert nonsensical language greeting) my obnoxious, yet well informed fans, here, is the seventeenth entry of my egotistical blog. But first, lets peer our eyes over to the comment box, and see what wonderous, fantastical comments you lot have left me


Edward Hanley- Yes…they are quite good. I was thinking of having them stuck to my Wii or something…but then I realized that’s stupid, and probably wouldn’t work. And it also sucks you couldn’t go. It was pretty good…but I’ll stop


Anyway…after finishing that one, INCREDULOUS comment, its time to move onto the topic at hand…a rather low blow topic (don’t even think about it…seriously…pervert). This, is my opinion, on Social Networking Sites (or SNS to keep it short)



Of all the topics and things I’ve reviewed so far, this topic by far is the one that makes me feel the most Onlooker-ish. Why…because I barely go to SNS…and for that matter, I barely have profiles on them

The idea for this topic came from a module of coursework I’ve been doing in GCSE ICT. Literally, I was doing the same thing…or rather the opposite, because instead we’ve been doing a f**king website an endless mindless work. But I digress…that’s an anger rant I can save for another time

But anyway, as to my opinion, I’ll keep it short and sweet…I personally think that most people who are obsessed with these sites have absolutely NO LIFE (seriously, what happened to…going outside and…talking to people. Its not hard, it really isn’t), an in turn, it also suggests a lack of attention. Why specifically, well…lets see

I’ve chosen 3 sites Im going to look over today; Myspace, Twitter, and the biggest muthaf**ker of them all…Facebook. Before I begin, let me just say that everything they can offer is good, yet at the same time, I don’t have a profile on any of them, so please bear with me. Lets begin with Myspace



As far as Im aware, this one of the earliest SNS of its time that is actually still memorable.

It was originally intended to be used by musicians as most people know, but like all good things, this ended near automatically…kinda like Big Brother’s popularity (Ohhhhhhhhh… went somewhere I shouldn’t have, didn’t I... or maybe I didnt >.>).

During the golden years of 2005-2007 (great years for me…and for a lot of people…Youtube was born in 2006 :D), this thing was swarming with all sorts of people…and in fact, mostly with people with little-to-no musical ability within them. To be fair, it must have been annoying to some of the original members, hell I’d be too, but honestly who gave a s**t. It was a laughable problem to the festering swarms of people abusing it, and even today, it still is.

However, like most people know again, this site didn’t stay popular permanently (unlike Michael Jackson according to all those people who said they never made one remark about the guy…that’s believable >.> ). The site naturally became less popular due to its lesser features when compared with more standard adapted SNS like Facebook (…WE’RE GETTING TO THAT), and today, the site stands at having less than the maximum popularity it used to have. It’s a bit tragic, but that’s how we remember this site. Okay, next site…



Firstly, I going to say that I’m less merciful on this site because people don’t get as crazy about it, and further to it…its generally okay and favourable, yet I don’t really know why

This site’s kinda like an underdog when compared to Facebook (…WE STILL ARE GOING TO F**KING GET TO IT). Its okay, but its never been ‘all that’, and I don’t really know why, but I do have a couple theories. To mention one of them, I’d say it has few features. They’re pretty good honestly, but it still stands that it has few, so you’re going to be lucky to keep peoplez attention.

This site sorta popped up in 2008 I think (well it’s the first time I ever heard of it), but no one ever really mentioned. However, I do recall an incident in a drama lesson I also had in 2008 (that year sucked…it did), where everyone gathered in a circle. We had to play a game where people came up with names for themselves, and the person next to them had to remember their name, and also come up with one themselves. Sounds simple enough…right. Anywaaaaay…a couple of people before my turn, I swear to God that I heard someone call them self ‘Mr Twitter’ (who the hell knows why). But because we didn’t like the guy or something so we called him ‘Mr Sprinkle’ or some other pedophillic name.

But to the point, that proves that people knew what it was, but hardly ever mentioned it. So…yeah, it must be an underdog site. Iam therefore right…so…

The Onlooker FTW :D

Anywaaaaay…now to get to the s**t stopper. The one that Im sure I hate. Sigh…Facebook



I really loathe this site. I really f**kin do

Why…well it just has a power over people. It has a mental manipulance that’s just grudgingly annoying…and it’s all because of the amount of people using the damn thing. Having Facebook today is one of those things that are ‘expected’ for an average person, and if you don’t have it, you’re treated like some kind of lower class. Its just trying to p*ss you off…but theres a bigger reason to it

Its because in a couple of weeks…I’ll be getting Facebook. Sigh…I’ve decided to get it to maybe get more fans…but I feel so sly doing it, that’s its just…even more hateful. And considering that, I’ll probably end up…liking it, so…yeah, besides me being a shameful hypocrite…I have to do this

The Onlooker FTL ;(

…You don’t know how much pain that caused me. You really don’t

(starts crying in a corner)

Sigh…well…you get my opinion, I suppose. I just dislike all these sites because of how they make people into these… mind controlled slaves?

But at the same time, I also dislike it even more when I join one of these sites…add to that how biased my opinion is and… well, its bad

But like I previously mentioned, its not all doom and gloom, I suppose. They do let you get in contact with your friends in a relatively safe way, and you can do far more in terms of entertainment…and besides, I’m sure they’ve helped people in far more ways in the past, so…yeah. Their you go…I don’t hate them…I just kinda dislike them. Alright’

Although Im clearly not good at it (as my 10’s entry suggests…never really got that one right), I’ll also try and predict what will be the future of these generic sites. Well…I doubt that anybody will be joining their mindbending forces together (that’s as likely as Sir Alan Sugar mixing his DNA with the people from Dragons Den… what would that make… Business Satan?)



…Bt3 >.>

But yeah, I doubt that possibility, and quite frankly I don’t see a lot of improvement in these sites either. What else could they exactly do…seriously, what possible thing could be added or impro-…actually, skip that last point. I just remembered there are other people who like to nit-pick

However, I do believe that they’ll stay relatively the same, and probably only receive redesigns on the site and logo every couple of years. But its not exactly a bad thing…hell’ I’ll probably be doing it eventually, so either that makes me look bad, or SNS look normal…Um, lets go for the latter. It makes far more sense ;)

But that should do it for this entry. As always, post a comment on what you thought of this incredulous entry (and seeing as my opinion is fact, what your hearing is the truth), or if you’re a blogger…person, start following today so you can receive updates and other percs at the fastest pace directly from me.



…I still don’t like Facebook

From The View Of The Onlooker- Top 10 Greatest Bosses (2)

Part 2


5. Sword and Axe, from Prince Of Persia 3



Now heres two bosses that quite frankly…are extremely annoying

Now let me go on record by saying that, while sands of time is good, the sequels are amazing. Seriously, they’re some of my favorite games of all time…just saying

But these two just appear out of nowhere after you’ve completed one of the most crippled ‘driving stages’ of all time, and then…you’re f**ked

These two are incredibly hard…I mean, really hard. These two do not f**k about, they can just…decimate you. Hell’, it took me 2 years after I got this game before I could kill them…even with an online strategy, but it was well worth it…oh yes, it was.

If one of them isn’t fighting you, then be sure the other one is charging up an attack, because you cant pay attention to both of them, and that is why they’re such A-holes. Plus it’ll take you a while before your realize the proper strategy, because the rest of the game is basically A button abuse. But they do earn a respect from me, as they are certainly memorable to me

Sword and Axe; the world’s best partners…and biggest a**holes…well, maybe not

Battle Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlKaW1UB7PY


4. Psycho Mantis, from Metal Gear



Individuality is something to be praised and respected…everyone knows this. But sometimes, there can be something so unique…that it breaks the laws of…whatever its in.

This is obviously Psycho Mantis’s description, because if this top 10 was based upon uniqueness, this guy would be in a class of his own.

Now you’re thinking; hey this guy just looks like something from a zombie game. How is he unique?

Well, that depends…do you think the rape of the fourth wall of gamer-dom is unique enough

This guy demolishes the fourth wall completely; brick by brick. How, well when you first fight him, he will read your game card and see all the games you have played data, which is slightly disturbing. Following that, he will make your controller vibrate for no reason whatsoever, and eventually he will lock your controller, making you incapable of moving or doing anything.

Jesus…I mean…what the hell?

But get this, the way to solve this is…plugging your controller into the second port. Ain’t that an completely obvious tactic, I sure would be able to figure that out :)

GODAMNIT, WHY’D THEY DO THAT

I mean, what if you don’t have a second controller port. I know the chances of that happening are like 1 in a 100000 or more, but still, you’d be f**ked. Utterly f**ked, so there you go

But that’s what makes this guy so great. Hes so unpredictable, and so unique…its just amazing, and being able that he can draw on peoples anger…that’s masterful

Psycho Mantis; the fourth wall’s No.1 public enemy

Battle video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayZG-RJCUYs


3. Rival, from Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow versions



I think they should re-name this guy Jerk. Because…this guy is just a freaking jerk

Now for those of you who have little of an idea about what the games are, don’t worry…I’ll tell you in a later entry. But all you need to know for now is that this guy (his real name can be decided by the player…I like calling him Kevin…just sayin’) is your rival from birth



Indeed…and although out the game, this guy will both challenge and mock you. That may make you want to tear out his organs (if your sensitive), but for the most part its bearable.

But at the end of the game, after you’ve defeated the elite four (basically the four most powerful people in the world), your supposedly champion…right

Wrong, this guy is

>:(

I have to say, that just the fact that you know this is your final battle, just makes this fight all the more epic. You’ll be watching every move of the match, I assure you, and every time he makes your Pokemon di- I mean faint, you’ll be blurting out swear words so loud it’ll make loudspeakers seem like deformed lamp shades.

The fight is just great, your rival is great…or rather an a**, and it is by far the most epic fight in this top 10

Rival; the only guy in the whole world who deserves absolute irredeemable Poke-Pwnage

Boss Battle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxZxoMlJO-c


2. The Dahaka, from Prince of Persia Warrior Within



Again drawing from Prince of Persia (it’s a good game series, obviously), this guy is a prime example of a stalker

While stalker characters in video games isn’t a new idea (hell, have you seen the game System shock. The final Boss constantly sees you), this guy certainly seems to be the most threatening. Lets take this game situation-

You’ve just killed a ton of enemies, and are about to go to another place in the game. But all of a sudden, the screen goes slightly brown, and the camera zooms to a giant dark husk walking slowly behind you, where before he wasn’t there. The music turns unpredictable and menacing, and you have to literally run for your life as giant tentacles and a teleporting, yet slow walking dark giant chases you

0.0

Worse still is when you’re in an area where you have to wall jump out of or perform another type of skill, because you can potentially fail and he can instantly kill you with a single touch.

But your thinking, that’s not boss-ish, that’s just…not boss-ish. Well, predictably you do fight him, in one of the two alternate endings within the game (though you have to play the canon (it means real) version)

After you’ve subdued the empress of time (don’t ask, too long to explain), the Dahaka comes in all his menacing glory, and starts to rape-kill her. The Prince (the main character) realizes that she shouldn’t be killed (possibly due to her innocence, or him wanting to get freaky with her), and in a rage attacks the Dahaka, and let me tell you, he hasn’t gotten lazy chasing you

He’ll mostly attack you with his tentacles, but if you can dodge them, you can lay some clean hits on him. But this f**ker has some considerable health, and will take a beating easily, so expect to be a while with him

Its also likely he’ll kill you first before you kill him, making him a boss that you constantly re-visit to kill, which I don’t mind if you can kill him after, say, 3 times. But more then that, and it becomes a problem, and on the Dahaka…it depends. It took me 3 times before I could put the bugger down, but if you cant kill him more times after that, like 5…then how the hell did you get this far into the game?

But regardless, this beastly personification of fate both inspires fear and power, but can also back it up ten fold

The Dahaka; Making you think twice before you cheat fate…seriously, tentacle rape-age…that’s brutal

Boss Battle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CvrCfUkjWg


Well, there’s my top 9 favourite bosses. Lets run through it real quick

10. Emperor and Darth Vader
9. The Great Mighty Poo
8. Bowser
7. Giygas
6. Darth Traya
5. Sword and Axe
4. Psycho Mantis
3. Rival
2. The Dahaka


Your probably curious as to who I consider to be the greatest ass-kicking, most fear inspiring, aggravating boss…so I wont deny you the pleasure any further. My no.1 greatest boss is…


1. Mike Tyson, from Mike Tyson’s punch out



Oh My F**king God Its Mike Tyson! EVERYBODY RUN FROM HIS DISFIGURED SPRITE!

Yes, Mike Tyson is my the greatest boss of all time. How can he not be…his real life counterpart was a beast, so naturally its fair to assume that his game counterpart is…and is he

Obviously

Not only was this guy like twice your height, but also he was your personal Satan…and you were his b**ch. He is near unbeatable, and very few people can actually beat this guy.

The game itself isn’t big on story and game length, and while the boss fights before him are manageable, Tyson is just a raging bull. He’s…just too strong, and I’ve actually faced him…yeah, and as you can imagine, he kicked my ass so hard I have both mental and physical scars :( . But regardless, he is still an incredible final boss, and although theres little build-up to him, he doesn’t need it. All you need to know is that Little Mac (the main character…explanationess FTW) will be in Hospital soonafter…with Bowser…and not in that way either


Mike Tyson; The greatest boss of them all...and probably the most disfigured

Boss Battle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hu69QEHhvNo

So there’s my top 10 greatest bosses. What do I think of them…well, they’re great. I think I got the top 3 right, but Im not so sure before that. But what did you think. Post your opinions about this or any other stuff…or maybe, I know, help or criticism

Bt3 >.>

But it’s only with your help that I can become greater than Iam at blogging :)

From The View Of The Onlooker- Top 10 Greatest Bosses (1)

Part 1

How you doin’ imaginary hot woman…I mean my fans (sorry, I guess my senses are already failing me…even at 14), heres s**ting out the sixteenth entry. But, lets see how you all took my latest c**p

Abby Lever- Im not just skipping to David Tennant without going over his usually old predecessors first. I need etiquette…plus the fact that this is a smart-arse opinion blog, and I can get away with more things than in real life. Heh heh, Im my own awesome god in my own little reality

Godliness (Specifically my godliness) FTW

The Unwashed Mass- Hmm…you’re right! I have to say that what you picked out felt like a subconscious thing to me, so…yeah, I’ve been shown up. Um…

The Unwashed Mass FTW

But still, I should have included that, so my bad >.>

Andrew- I can emphasize with you. Being a nuWho fan, when I first learned more about the old series, its fair to say that I barely got it (I’ve improved a little since then).

My only solution is to just give it time. I’d still recommend you watch the new series, but ease into it and understand it first. Then learn more about the old series along with its episodes, and eventually, it should make sense

But go at your own pace. You should make time for it, but don’t let it become a chore. Just get into it more, and you should become a more understanding fan


Now that I have got those comments out of the way (…its incredibly draining, like doing a math test while running on a treadmill while singing Pokerface…try that next time you go to the gym, and then you’ll know my struggle), lets go to the topic at hand, and my first top 10 list (hopefully the first of many), the Top 10 Greatest Bosses!



Videogames, there virtually loved by everyone…okay, loved by every man ( Sexist comments are secksy :p ), and definitely one of the best things about them are the bosses…until they start raping you like the frightened little sheep you are. But still, they’re usually the first embodiments of Bad-ass-ment we ever encounter as children, and I’ve picked out my favourite 10 over my small lifespan. So…enjoy

10. Darth Vader and the Emperor from The Force Unleashed



Being from a fairly recent game (and also a fairly old film trilogy (the new one just sucks)), these two dark lords have long been symbols of pure evil. I believe they need no introduction

Introduce The Force Unleashed, a game that I’d say would comes 10/10 in gameplay. It was a great game, and its story actually fitted in extremely well. In it, you play as D-Vader’s secret apprentice, called Starkiller. Here he is-



Darth Vader kills his parents at a young age (cybernetic douche), and basically he raises you to become a tool of destruction…awesome =D

Through a long story (which I can’t be bothered writing…GO BUY THE DAMN GAME), you eventually have to fight Darth Vader/ and The Emperor, and well…they put you through your paces

I mean, in near all the fights before them, you AngerRape (alright, you kill…my phrase sounds better though) just about everyone because of all the various force and lightsaber techniques you possess (its even better on the Wii…I mean the remote just becomes the hand of God, really), but when you get up to these two Sith, they flip the death switch, and then it becomes your turn to enjoy there wrath. Seriously, they are HARD, but after about 3 turns when you get a view of how they do things, I’d say you’re able to kill them. But before you can do that, all you’ll be saying is-

’Ahh, Goddamnit, I hate you F**kin A**holes, stop killing me d**hole, Arrrgh…that’s it, RANDOM ANGER SPAZ OUT ATTACK!!!!!’

Alright, maybe I just said that

The only reasons Im ranking them so low is because of how naturally easy the game is, due to the incredibly overpowered force abilities and moves combined with proper control. Sure, you probably won’t kill em’ the first time round, but after that, it literally conforms to the rest of the game in terms of difficulty.

Darth Vader and The Emperor are amazing characters, don’t get me wrong, but the battle(s?) is/are just a little too weak for the game. A bit more difficulty

Darth Vader and The Emperor; showing us that the dark side has never looked more powerful

Battle Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLWWi88dj2w (Darth Vader)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0QVK6Bjm-c (The Emperor)


9. The Great Mighty Poo, from Conkers Bad Fur Day (and Conker: Live and reloaded (It’s the 360 version))



Holy s**t…literally

This boss was…interesting. Of course, we all think a hard to beat boss is s**t, but this guy was actually that. For those of you who don’t know, the game itself (Conkers Bad Fur Day) was originally intended to be ‘cute and out to make some money’, but after some recent reviews of games similar to it, the producers of it got the risqué idea to add all the essential adult things, such as-

-Guns

-Women

-And alcohol

And the Great Mighty Poo is the result of this. Honestly, this boss is more laughable than impressive, because if its size wasn’t enough…it sings opera.

OUTRAGEOUS

And Im sticking by that, because…this boss is just so unique, but for all the wrong reasons. That’s its main fault. Unique bosses are always fun and generally praised, but this turd…well it shows its weakness. It’s a crappy fight from me, simply put, and I swear its just there so the programmers could just get memorable…which they actually did

The Great Mighty Poo, showing us that no matter what you do (rhyming FTW), at least you didn’t s**t out this creation


Battle Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWkj0SNilQc (Nintendo 64)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsGHTx8-frs (Xbox 360)


8. Bowser (all versions)



How could I not include that lovable dino-turtle, he’s probably the definitive boss nowadays.

Bowser made his first appearance in 1985 after a long period of unemployment (bet you didn’t know that), and the first time people saw that twisted smiling sprite firing fireballs of total death at you, we knew we were going to like him forever. Not only did he have the EXACT right amount of difficulty for us to destroy him, he also looked the part of an evil kidnapping monster, even back then. He was just brilliant he first time we saw him

And the second

And the third

And the fourth

And the fifth…

That’s my reason for ranking him so low, its because hes overused. Not that that’s always a bad thing, but in the case of the Mario series, ehh…my attention starts waver. But I think Nintendo has proved that they’re willing to stick to Bowser, because the other times they’ve created main villains, they’ve been…not very memorable. Perhaps Im making a mistake ranking him so low, but…he’s just a tired out villain.

Plus the fact that most of the battles with him aren’t exactly challenging. Im saying this because of playing both the original Super Mario, and New Super Mario Bros/Wii. Some of them are unique, but the majority of them are basically same as either jumping on an axe (or some type of button), or incorporating some 3D aspects of an environment (eg. Super Mario Sunshine...you basically mega jump some buttons). But in the case of the latest one...besides having a giant Bowser chase you, it s possible to beat him after a couple of go's (better still with a 2nd player), and while impressively hard, it doesnt leave as much of a noticable after effect in my opinion

He may have medical care better then the NHS (lol, I don’t even know much about the NHS), but I think psychologically, this character is probably going through therapy after having nightmares of a fat Italian plumber.

Bowser; covered in spikes on the outside, but torn-up on the inside

Battle Video (from New Super Mario Bros Wii)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87SbsDI1pXU


7. Giygas, from Mother 3, Earthbound



A swirling mass of evil…that’s pure description right there

I doubt none of you have played anything from the Mother series, or even heard of anything from the series (neither have I), but to give you the rundown, its one of those Japanese style adventure with in game friends sorta games…kinda reminds me of Final Fantasy. But to the point, the game was especially light-hearted with its cartoony animation style and friendly characters. Seeing a dark moment in this was like the chances of Pluto not being a planet

But both happened

This final Boss was pure evil. He had no specific form…he was just evil energy, and that’s hardcore. And he had a nice fight to coincide with him as well.

When one reaches this vortex of a boss, you’ll meet a fat pig-human boy called master Pokey, who has been working for Giygas all along (If only the main characters had a Tazer, then hurting him would be justifiable AND fun). But killing Giygas himself is incredibly hard, because while you can’t kill him, you HAVE to stay alive. When you eventually start to lose HP and PP (Health and Power points), you think that’s it,

Game Over Man!

Well, in one of the most ‘pure’ moments in Video Game History, all the characters you meet in your travels start to prey for your safety, thus allowing you to harm Giygas more significantly, and eventually kill him

But, during all this, I must mention of the incredibly disturbing image that Giygas takes



Look again... I'll help you



A FETUS. Due to one of this games concepts being time travel, it is said that Adult Giygas’s evil spread to his fetal form, thus meaning that you’re…well a baby killer

Giygas; Making killing an evil creature ever so guilty… HES A GODDAMN FETUS!

Battle Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC-VZv5cUuM


6. Darth Traya, from Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic 2



Talk about such a cold character. While she may have been the final game boss, Darth Traya…is kinda the character you sympathise with

Why…well she’s a main character. Not just that, she’s also a playable character (as in you can increase vitality and stuff), and she’s not really known as Darth Traya, you call her Kreia

As is the fashion in RPG-Games, you can usually find out more about playable characters by talking to them (Wow, I never thought of that), and in Kreia’ s case… It turns out she was the master of the main character in the last game, and she was exiled from the Jedi Order, became a sith, and was exiled again. But enough of that, Bt3

When you finally battle her, she’s pretty easy at first…all you do is slice off her remaining hand (don’t ask), but you’ll regret doing that, because then uses the force the control three lightsabers, and… they’ll own you…hard

But if you manage to destroy them, then you’ve finally finished. HOO-ray. A major reason for ranking this boss in this way is just because of all the story coinciding with her. You can tell that a lot of effort has been put into her story, and even though her final fight is okay, it doesn’t matter because the story somehow boosts this, which to that end is just brilliant

Darth Traya; if you cut off her other hand…oh yeah, she will destroy you >:(

Battle Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRf5CP9GOV0