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How you doin’ imaginary hot woman…I mean my fans (sorry, I guess my senses are already failing me…even at 14), heres s**ting out the sixteenth entry. But, lets see how you all took my latest c**p
Abby Lever- Im not just skipping to David Tennant without going over his usually old predecessors first. I need etiquette…plus the fact that this is a smart-arse opinion blog, and I can get away with more things than in real life. Heh heh, Im my own awesome god in my own little reality
Godliness (Specifically my godliness) FTW
The Unwashed Mass- Hmm…you’re right! I have to say that what you picked out felt like a subconscious thing to me, so…yeah, I’ve been shown up. Um…
The Unwashed Mass FTW
But still, I should have included that, so my bad >.>
Andrew- I can emphasize with you. Being a nuWho fan, when I first learned more about the old series, its fair to say that I barely got it (I’ve improved a little since then).
My only solution is to just give it time. I’d still recommend you watch the new series, but ease into it and understand it first. Then learn more about the old series along with its episodes, and eventually, it should make sense
But go at your own pace. You should make time for it, but don’t let it become a chore. Just get into it more, and you should become a more understanding fan
Now that I have got those comments out of the way (…its incredibly draining, like doing a math test while running on a treadmill while singing Pokerface…try that next time you go to the gym, and then you’ll know my struggle), lets go to the topic at hand, and my first top 10 list (hopefully the first of many), the Top 10 Greatest Bosses!
Videogames, there virtually loved by everyone…okay, loved by every man ( Sexist comments are secksy :p ), and definitely one of the best things about them are the bosses…until they start raping you like the frightened little sheep you are. But still, they’re usually the first embodiments of Bad-ass-ment we ever encounter as children, and I’ve picked out my favourite 10 over my small lifespan. So…enjoy
10. Darth Vader and the Emperor from The Force Unleashed
Being from a fairly recent game (and also a fairly old film trilogy (the new one just sucks)), these two dark lords have long been symbols of pure evil. I believe they need no introduction
Introduce The Force Unleashed, a game that I’d say would comes 10/10 in gameplay. It was a great game, and its story actually fitted in extremely well. In it, you play as D-Vader’s secret apprentice, called Starkiller. Here he is-
Darth Vader kills his parents at a young age (cybernetic douche), and basically he raises you to become a tool of destruction…awesome =D
Through a long story (which I can’t be bothered writing…GO BUY THE DAMN GAME), you eventually have to fight Darth Vader/ and The Emperor, and well…they put you through your paces
I mean, in near all the fights before them, you AngerRape (alright, you kill…my phrase sounds better though) just about everyone because of all the various force and lightsaber techniques you possess (its even better on the Wii…I mean the remote just becomes the hand of God, really), but when you get up to these two Sith, they flip the death switch, and then it becomes your turn to enjoy there wrath. Seriously, they are HARD, but after about 3 turns when you get a view of how they do things, I’d say you’re able to kill them. But before you can do that, all you’ll be saying is-
’Ahh, Goddamnit, I hate you F**kin A**holes, stop killing me d**hole, Arrrgh…that’s it, RANDOM ANGER SPAZ OUT ATTACK!!!!!’
Alright, maybe I just said that
The only reasons Im ranking them so low is because of how naturally easy the game is, due to the incredibly overpowered force abilities and moves combined with proper control. Sure, you probably won’t kill em’ the first time round, but after that, it literally conforms to the rest of the game in terms of difficulty.
Darth Vader and The Emperor are amazing characters, don’t get me wrong, but the battle(s?) is/are just a little too weak for the game. A bit more difficulty
Darth Vader and The Emperor; showing us that the dark side has never looked more powerful
Battle Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLWWi88dj2w (Darth Vader)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0QVK6Bjm-c (The Emperor)
9. The Great Mighty Poo, from Conkers Bad Fur Day (and Conker: Live and reloaded (It’s the 360 version))
Holy s**t…literally
This boss was…interesting. Of course, we all think a hard to beat boss is s**t, but this guy was actually that. For those of you who don’t know, the game itself (Conkers Bad Fur Day) was originally intended to be ‘cute and out to make some money’, but after some recent reviews of games similar to it, the producers of it got the risqué idea to add all the essential adult things, such as-
-Guns
-Women
-And alcohol
And the Great Mighty Poo is the result of this. Honestly, this boss is more laughable than impressive, because if its size wasn’t enough…it sings opera.
OUTRAGEOUS
And Im sticking by that, because…this boss is just so unique, but for all the wrong reasons. That’s its main fault. Unique bosses are always fun and generally praised, but this turd…well it shows its weakness. It’s a crappy fight from me, simply put, and I swear its just there so the programmers could just get memorable…which they actually did
The Great Mighty Poo, showing us that no matter what you do (rhyming FTW), at least you didn’t s**t out this creation
Battle Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWkj0SNilQc (Nintendo 64)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsGHTx8-frs (Xbox 360)
8. Bowser (all versions)
How could I not include that lovable dino-turtle, he’s probably the definitive boss nowadays.
Bowser made his first appearance in 1985 after a long period of unemployment (bet you didn’t know that), and the first time people saw that twisted smiling sprite firing fireballs of total death at you, we knew we were going to like him forever. Not only did he have the EXACT right amount of difficulty for us to destroy him, he also looked the part of an evil kidnapping monster, even back then. He was just brilliant he first time we saw him
And the second
And the third
And the fourth
And the fifth…
That’s my reason for ranking him so low, its because hes overused. Not that that’s always a bad thing, but in the case of the Mario series, ehh…my attention starts waver. But I think Nintendo has proved that they’re willing to stick to Bowser, because the other times they’ve created main villains, they’ve been…not very memorable. Perhaps Im making a mistake ranking him so low, but…he’s just a tired out villain.
Plus the fact that most of the battles with him aren’t exactly challenging. Im saying this because of playing both the original Super Mario, and New Super Mario Bros/Wii. Some of them are unique, but the majority of them are basically same as either jumping on an axe (or some type of button), or incorporating some 3D aspects of an environment (eg. Super Mario Sunshine...you basically mega jump some buttons). But in the case of the latest one...besides having a giant Bowser chase you, it s possible to beat him after a couple of go's (better still with a 2nd player), and while impressively hard, it doesnt leave as much of a noticable after effect in my opinion
He may have medical care better then the NHS (lol, I don’t even know much about the NHS), but I think psychologically, this character is probably going through therapy after having nightmares of a fat Italian plumber.
Bowser; covered in spikes on the outside, but torn-up on the inside
Battle Video (from New Super Mario Bros Wii)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87SbsDI1pXU
7. Giygas, from Mother 3, Earthbound
A swirling mass of evil…that’s pure description right there
I doubt none of you have played anything from the Mother series, or even heard of anything from the series (neither have I), but to give you the rundown, its one of those Japanese style adventure with in game friends sorta games…kinda reminds me of Final Fantasy. But to the point, the game was especially light-hearted with its cartoony animation style and friendly characters. Seeing a dark moment in this was like the chances of Pluto not being a planet
But both happened
This final Boss was pure evil. He had no specific form…he was just evil energy, and that’s hardcore. And he had a nice fight to coincide with him as well.
When one reaches this vortex of a boss, you’ll meet a fat pig-human boy called master Pokey, who has been working for Giygas all along (If only the main characters had a Tazer, then hurting him would be justifiable AND fun). But killing Giygas himself is incredibly hard, because while you can’t kill him, you HAVE to stay alive. When you eventually start to lose HP and PP (Health and Power points), you think that’s it,
Game Over Man!
Well, in one of the most ‘pure’ moments in Video Game History, all the characters you meet in your travels start to prey for your safety, thus allowing you to harm Giygas more significantly, and eventually kill him
But, during all this, I must mention of the incredibly disturbing image that Giygas takes
Look again... I'll help you
A FETUS. Due to one of this games concepts being time travel, it is said that Adult Giygas’s evil spread to his fetal form, thus meaning that you’re…well a baby killer
Giygas; Making killing an evil creature ever so guilty… HES A GODDAMN FETUS!
Battle Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC-VZv5cUuM
6. Darth Traya, from Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic 2
Talk about such a cold character. While she may have been the final game boss, Darth Traya…is kinda the character you sympathise with
Why…well she’s a main character. Not just that, she’s also a playable character (as in you can increase vitality and stuff), and she’s not really known as Darth Traya, you call her Kreia
As is the fashion in RPG-Games, you can usually find out more about playable characters by talking to them (Wow, I never thought of that), and in Kreia’ s case… It turns out she was the master of the main character in the last game, and she was exiled from the Jedi Order, became a sith, and was exiled again. But enough of that, Bt3
When you finally battle her, she’s pretty easy at first…all you do is slice off her remaining hand (don’t ask), but you’ll regret doing that, because then uses the force the control three lightsabers, and… they’ll own you…hard
But if you manage to destroy them, then you’ve finally finished. HOO-ray. A major reason for ranking this boss in this way is just because of all the story coinciding with her. You can tell that a lot of effort has been put into her story, and even though her final fight is okay, it doesn’t matter because the story somehow boosts this, which to that end is just brilliant
Darth Traya; if you cut off her other hand…oh yeah, she will destroy you >:(
Battle Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRf5CP9GOV0
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